That Thing I said I’d Do

Remember when I last posted (like a month ago or something) and said I’d run 26 miles on my 26th birthday? Well I did it.

The start of year 26 commenced with a 4 a.m. wake-up for 12 pre-work miles. I did 9 over lunch, and got the rest in after work. And then I ate three (large) pieces of the cake our group’s admin so sweetly got for me. (She actually staged a whole little surprise party type deal in one of our conference rooms. I thought I had a meeting about an upcoming workshop and bam! Cake! It was incredibly thoughtful.)

(Also duh I ate way more than that, I just thought I’d point out that I was lucky enough to get cake, even in this turd-hole of a country.)

A couple power outages prevented me from recording exact times, but total run time was about 4 hours and 20 minutes. Right where a conservative 26 mile effort ought to be for me, I think. (Especially since I’m not at the best level of fitness I’ve ever been at.)

I’ve been trying to up my mileage lately, and have done some reading on Lydiard’s “Miles make Champions” business…it’s bait I’m willing to take. I’ve always thought that I stood up to moderate (50ish a week is what this means for me…I know it’s subjective) mileage fairly well, in that I’m (KNOCKS ON WOOD) not injury prone and honestly just like running big (for me) miles. I feel good when I’m over 40. Mentally, physically…it just works for me.

Last week I was going for my first ever 60+ mile week. By Friday I had 41 miles on the books and plans for a 20 miler over the weekend. And then I came down with (what I think was) food poisoning, and well, I’ll spare you the details. But I got through 4 miles of my run before I had to go spend the next two straight days rotating between the bathroom and the fetal position.

This week was a planned cutback week, and it’s been abysmal. My stomach funk isn’t gone, and I just don’t give a damn right now. I can’t stand the the thought of being on the treadmill for hours at a time anymore. I lost a day of running to feeling like hell, and another one to a day where I had to be at the office before 6 a.m. and didn’t get home until about 8:30 p.m.

You “full-time blogger” types? Can suck it.

I’m in this magical place where I just hate pretty much everything. Today our power went out because the infrastructure here is a joke. It didn’t even affect everyone in our complex–just us. Lucky us! This is the second time we’ve been so lucky to get the it’s-just-you power outage. (And that’s to say nothing of the times the power goes out ((DAILY)) that affect everyone).

Yesterday I wanted nothing but peanut butter and jelly toast for breakfast. And then I opened a brand new NOT EXPIRED (hard to find here) jar of jelly and it was covered in mold.

And THEN I bought $80 worth of asparagus and brussels sprouts unknowingly. (As in, no posted prices, and I didn’t get that fun little gem of information until the bastards had my credit card.)

robbery.

 

HATE. EVERYTHING.

I got in less than 30 miles this week. And I just can’t bring myself to care.

I know I’m being a whiny brat here, and every now and again I get to take kick-ass vacations…but the time in between those? Fricking sucks. My life is one giant repeat of wake up, bus to work at 7 a.m., run at lunch, eat something shitty, home around 6, re-watch some episode of something we downloaded the last time we were in the first world, sleep. And repeat.

I’m lucky. I know I am. Mr. Engineer and I work for what I’m guessing some magazine somewhere has rated one of the best companies there is to work for. And I’m grateful for that.

But living here is just so hard. We’ve been doing it for a year and I’m just not good at it yet. I’m not.

So, to my five readers, how do you pull yourself out of a funk? I’m chest-deep in negativity and can’t shake it. I think I want to–I have at least a year left here, so I have to–but damn I’m struggling right now.

Happy running.

13 Responses to “That Thing I said I’d Do”


  1. 1 Heather C February 26, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    First of all, my legs and feet are beyond impressed that you regularly put in 40+ mile weeks ( on a treadmill, no less!). I did one of those recently, without intention, and my muscles were pretty frickin’ spent by the end of the week!

    So, huge kudos to you.🙂

    Funk exit-plan: come up with a bucket list of things to do before you leave an area of the World that you’ll probably never live in again. Send me your address so I can ship food that doesn’t cost a completely outrageous amount of money. Write down your 10-year vision – write short & long term goals in every aspect of life that you’re craving some adventure and change. change up your daily routine *somehow* (that above-mentioned package could also include some workout DVDs😉 ), every day.

    Continue coming here for an outlet, if that’s what you need to do to keep on keeepin’ on.

    • 2 purpleshoe runs February 27, 2012 at 5:56 am

      you’re incredibly sweet : ) thanks for the ideas. clearly the underlying deal here is to stop wallowing, huh? I guess sometimes it just takes a good reminder.

      • 3 RezaEvolution November 12, 2013 at 9:31 am

        I had a rather hard time csoohing just one type of physician I would want to work for. So many of them fascinate me, and with me not really going into any medical field other than support, I never gave this any thought in the past. After reading the list, I am more favorable of working for a neonatologist. It is difficult to think about how neonatologist physicians sometimes have the most difficult job in the world, but I can only imagine how amazing it would be to be a part of saving a baby’s life. I had a coworker once whose baby was born at 36 weeks, and her baby had a lot of heart and lung problems. There were concerns about whether or not they would ever fully develop once she had him, but after many months in the NICU, and many scares that happened during it, the doctors were able to save him and he is now a very healthy 5 year old. It is because of that I have a higher interest in the neonatologist field.I hate to say which type of physician I would care less to work for, and it is because I worry that many will take it the wrong way. When I was 16, I used to help my mom at an assisted living home as a caregiver. We would get to work at 7:00 A.M. every morning to prepare breakfast for four of the elderly men and women that we were caring for. We would then make sure that all bedding was changed, rooms were cleaned, meals were prepared, and appointments were handled. We worked 12 hour days, and they were always grueling. The owner of the home made sure that everyone had their medicine and made it to their doctor appointments on time. However, she was more worried about getting paid for her services than actually helping the elderly. She would yell at them if they did something wrong, and even call them terrible names. My mom reported her and we both quit our job, but it has always left a sting in my heart since then. It is because of my experience with that situation that I do not think I could ever work for a gerontologist. I know that the situations would be much different, but ever since my experience with caring for elderly individuals it is very hard for me to think about assisting a physician in geriatrics because I worry that someone else might treat the elderly in the same way the owner of the home did. I am a firm believer that the elderly deserve the ultimate care and comfort when going through any treatment and aging in general, but I do not think I could ever work in that environment again.

    • 4 Snehal November 10, 2013 at 10:59 am

      JOIN TEAM JOEY NATION!BUFFALO WILD WINGS IN AUBURN, IN Wednesday NOV. 14th from 6-8(Come on out!) You may contact for cuonops. 10% of all food purchases will be donated to help JOEY!**TEAM JOEY Christmas Extravaganza** Mark your Calendar!!Date: November 17th, 2012Time: 12:00pm 5:00pmLocation: Auburn First Christian Church,910 N. Indiana Ave. Auburn, IN (Just south of Rieke Park) SANTA will be there for a photo Opp, bring your camera, take all the pictures you need and make your Christmas Cards perfect, coloring table for kids to color pages for the Keller’s, Party lite candles, Premier Designs, a Certified Massage Therapist (for on the spot massage), home made Jams, bake sale, 31, Vault Denim, home made blankets, scarves and purses and many more things! SILENT AUCTION: Debrands chocolates gift baskets, American doll clothes, Cookie cottage gift baskets, Italian Grille gift cert, Albright’s Grocery gift Cert., movie baskets, longaberger baskets, Vera Bradley Bags and MUCH MUCH MORE! Please join us in making this a SUCCESS FOR JOEY!!!! Please share and mark your Calendar!

    • 5 www.thesuninmotion.net February 18, 2014 at 7:12 am

      Ah, i see. Well that’s not too tricky at all!”

  2. 6 Alishia February 26, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    Hang in there friend…love ya!

    • 7 Ashish November 10, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      I had a rather hard time cnoisohg just one type of physician I would want to work for. So many of them fascinate me, and with me not really going into any medical field other than support, I never gave this any thought in the past. After reading the list, I am more favorable of working for a neonatologist. It is difficult to think about how neonatologist physicians sometimes have the most difficult job in the world, but I can only imagine how amazing it would be to be a part of saving a baby’s life. I had a coworker once whose baby was born at 36 weeks, and her baby had a lot of heart and lung problems. There were concerns about whether or not they would ever fully develop once she had him, but after many months in the NICU, and many scares that happened during it, the doctors were able to save him and he is now a very healthy 5 year old. It is because of that I have a higher interest in the neonatologist field.I hate to say which type of physician I would care less to work for, and it is because I worry that many will take it the wrong way. When I was 16, I used to help my mom at an assisted living home as a caregiver. We would get to work at 7:00 A.M. every morning to prepare breakfast for four of the elderly men and women that we were caring for. We would then make sure that all bedding was changed, rooms were cleaned, meals were prepared, and appointments were handled. We worked 12 hour days, and they were always grueling. The owner of the home made sure that everyone had their medicine and made it to their doctor appointments on time. However, she was more worried about getting paid for her services than actually helping the elderly. She would yell at them if they did something wrong, and even call them terrible names. My mom reported her and we both quit our job, but it has always left a sting in my heart since then. It is because of my experience with that situation that I do not think I could ever work for a gerontologist. I know that the situations would be much different, but ever since my experience with caring for elderly individuals it is very hard for me to think about assisting a physician in geriatrics because I worry that someone else might treat the elderly in the same way the owner of the home did. I am a firm believer that the elderly deserve the ultimate care and comfort when going through any treatment and aging in general, but I do not think I could ever work in that environment again.

  3. 8 jeanie March 2, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    You’re completely and totally entitled to wallow….you are in a difficult location and that can be so tedious. It’s perfectly normal to vent. : ) However, I know that you always face your problems, persevere, and emerge triumphant. Maybe writing in a journal would help… and then, 30 years from now, you and Mr E will laugh at all the memories. Cheers!

    p.s. you are so fortunate to be living with the love of your life

    • 9 Lyne January 25, 2013 at 12:40 am

      I’m looking forrwad to reading your article, Phil. I was at the Matthews tribute at AWP several years ago in Chicago and bought After All: Last Poems. I admit I found the poems dismal We all drink from a leaking cup, for example. But I suppose the truth of living is its ephemeral essence, which one can yes view as dismal. Why is it that the ephemeral doesn’t make us joyful? I’ll read and learn from you, as I always do, but I have a feeling that your breakfast with Matthews did indeed bring him a bit of joy however ephemeral.~EB

    • 10 Andreia November 12, 2013 at 8:14 am

      wow!!! Christina Carroll!!! I have been FB buds with your dad for a year or so, but never found you on there. I hope you & your mom & brother are all doing well. You have an amzniag birth story and gorgeous twins!!! You were always such a beautiful child & young lady growing up! I am so glad to have found you on here!! Congratulations to mother hood! It is challenging at times, but the rewards are worth every second! I hope to catch up with you some day! May God bless you abundantly!! HUGS sweetie!!Kellie

  4. 11 Janelle March 3, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    The jelly thing almost pushed me over the edge to tears. Nobody messes with a PB&J craving. Not even a 3rd world country shitty food supply situation.

  5. 12 Michael January 27, 2013 at 4:13 am

    Anonymous April 30, 2012 Honestly , I’m a bit guilty of hnvaig these negative impressions toward Indian people. My very first social network next to friendster was a language site. I met different nationalities and Indians have bad reputation in that site coz most of them were there not to learn language but to do cyber sex. So I always decline every time I see a friend request or chat request from Indians then one time I got a chat request but the nationality was not displayed and the photo was not looking indian, To cut the story short , I was able to chat with this person , to my surprise, the person is very smart,and well grounded.. from then on we became really good friends. I’ve learned so much about Indian culture and vise versa. If you want to piss an Indian national tell him that their cricket team will be lost with Pakistan and if wants to piss me off he will just tell that Manny Pacquiao sucks..watch this bollywood movies, I promise you, you’ll get be addicted to it I recommend: ghajini’and if you love the movie email me and i’ll recomend another one and a lot more

  6. 13 Aldo November 12, 2013 at 11:36 am

    A psychiatrist is a phciiysan who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders. I have a bachelor’s degree in the social services field. For several years, I have worked with children who have been diagnosed with mental disorders. It is upsetting to see children victimize at an early age and even more disturbing to see them as predators as early as 5 years of age, however knowing that I am doing my part to assist them in becoming functioning youths and adults is rewarding. The empathy, confidentiality and maturity of a medical assistant are definitely needed in this area. I enjoy establishing a rapport with these clients and helping them to find adequate coping skills to deal with their disorders, therefore I would like to work for a psychiatrist.I would not like to work for an emergency phciiysan for several reasons. I will explain a few. Patients who come to the emergency center typically have serious injuries or trauma. I would not like to have my mind constantly focused on who is coming thru the door and how sever the prognosis is. Knowing myself, I know that would be my focus and I would not be very productive. Also, in the emergency room the staff has to be prepared for anything, I would prefer an area that focuses on a particular specialty. Most importantly, I do not wish to see excessive amounts of blood loss on a regular basis. Actually, not even a minimal amount of blood loss on a regular basis. Giving my opinion and thoughts about this specialty, I would not be an effective employee.


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